Friday 27th November 1998

Wow, people read these pages and stuff! I found out about 11.20am today and I'm still amazingly shocked, at 1.45pm. It's strange ya' know, coz' like, I dunno, I guess you know how it's strange reading this if you don't really know me, but that was kind of the appeal of it, being able to share stuff with people, without the awkwardness of feeling that you can't tell certain people for fear of telling them too much or them reacting badly, or strangly to you because they can't relate to it. (or don't want to) But now, people coming up to me, and talking to me about it is weird, but really amazing too. Maybe I'll cope with that - it's just it's more comfortable thinking someone at the other side of the world is reading it, rather than someone in the same town as you. Or even someone sitting next to you, that I find scarey!! Does that make much sense? (I hope I haven't contradicted myself in what I've said, it's just often difficult to have only one opinion about something.)

Okay, after that really long paragraph, here's something I thought I should say, in further explanation of these pages so that no-one is offended. For instance if they read these pages, and then think, 'well how come he can tell the whole world about it, but can't come and talk to me about it when I consider myself a close friend?' - Okay, here's my answer... erm. (this is daunting.) Basically I find it really difficult to share with people, face to face, certain things - it's not because I don't count you as a close friend (not that I have many) - it's likely that I do count you as a close personal friend. And it's also to do with the internet not caring what I say or put on my pages, it's like a free forum, and accepts you for who you are, never reacting badly to anything you say (within reason). (as mentioned in first paragraph.)

Right, onto some neat(?) things that have been happening in my life. Erm... where to start, well yesturday was almost a 'magic' day. It was definitely interesting, although it was too normal to be a first i.e. what happened has happened before, but it was neat how it was all rolled into one day.

It was thursday, and I went to my lessons in the morning, and between 12-1.30pm I had a really productive meeting about one of the other internet projects I'm gonna' be working on. Then later met up with some people from C.U. (Christian Union) who are really nice, which was really cool, and funny coz' we were trying to page someone and the message person didn't understand, and like we ran out of money - I guess you would have to have been there or something.

musical interlude... "this is what klf is about... also known as the justified acients of moo moo..." ... "all aboard all aboard woo ooh!"

Later, I don't know what to mention in case I may offend or upset the person concerned by putting it on here, so I guess I won't mention much about this bit - Oh I know what I was going to mention this for, a friend said that "I was approachable", which I think is so nice (I'm pretty blown away by that too.) coz', like... it just kinda touches me coz' it means that if I'm approachable then I must be likeable, ya' know, which is pretty great. But one thing that did bug me a bit about what I learnt about myself, is that I'm often seen as always on top of the world, like nothing ever bothers me, but things do, as you'll know from this, and it's not that I want to put on a 'front' or 'face', because I don't it's just I don't want to labour or burden people with my stuff (baggage?) - In some ways it makes it good to use this method, because you know that you are sharing it with people (which is good) and you're also (hopefully) not burdening them with it because they may not know you, or don't have to take on any kind of concern over it. It would bug me if people were brought 'down', or felt 'burdened' by this, as that's not what I wish at all, I want to make people who read this happy, and let them know there are people out there going through things you are going through. (or maybe it's just me going through things I go through, but somehow I think not.)

Then, at about 6.30pm I went to get a funky train to Leeds to go to my friend, Paul's, birthday do thingee. And that was neat, coz' he liked my present(s) lots, and we went and "hung" (eh dear) for a while with some of his friends from his church and then we went to a Latin night (WOW!) and it was amazing, there was latin dancing (which in case you were wondering is only really "dirty" if you personally make it dirty, it is totally possible to dance Salsa, Samba, etc without getting all "saucy" with someone else.) and a live Latin band, with an amazing bass player - it was so good. And as a guy called "Steve" repeatedly said "It totally Rocks". (I think he missed out the totally) It was also cool because I got to hang out with Paul's cool house mates, especially a girl called Helen, who is really nice.

Later, when we left I went back to Paul's house, and he let me read some really personal stuff about him that he's gonna' put on his web site (don't be surprised if it's difficult to find though!). It's amazing, coz' like some of the stuff I put on my web site, I'd really not like to let people read next to me - I guess I wouldn't mind Paul, so maybe it's pretty understandable.

another musical interlude... "oooooh ooooh boy yeh yeh yeh - aahh - boy L.S.I is all you require..." hmmm... maybe I shouldn't include these lyrics :o)'s just some cool music from 93, with some awesome tints of rave tunes, which I just totally love sometimes coz' I went through a faze of loveing rave whilst about 12/13 - then about when I was 14+ I got into Heavy Metal, or rather rock and death metal (not good for you, seriously!), and now I'm into rave (92/93 style) sometimes, and all sorts of other stuff, as mentioned in About Josh.

I especially like... "I'm gone send in to outta space... to find another race... I take a brain to another dimension... pay close attention" the Prodigy Experience (their first and BEST album... (totally and nearly always ahead of their time) the other albums I don't like much.)

Okay, so I guess this is the longest one of these I've ever written, and I hope you're not bored by it, but I just feel kinda' like it's not too necessary to censor this because all the feedback I have had from real people (not that there are fake people, but I mean people I know) has been really encouraging... and I'm listening to some really funky music too...

"...ded ded det det doo ded de doo do...coz' I love your smile...I love your smile..."

Anyway, today's been cool, coz' I did okay in a test I had this morning, (not that I was happy about it this morning) and then bumped into another funky person from C.U. and suddenly found myself praying and helping out with a bookstall (if you're on campus in huddersfield uni friday 11.20-1pm then check it out in Library entrance), which was pretty amazing, coz' I suddenly thought, wow God's giving me a chance to share with some people the amazing things God's done for me, and how much He loves us, through the literature we were giving out.

Anyway, I guess that's it really, I think I've said way too much - and like, why? I hope you know the answer to this, if not from this, then I guess there's not much point - but I think you will.

"Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's decietfulness."

"Keep on loving each other as brothers."

"Do not forget to do good, and to share with others..."