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monkey netscape wizard page by josh

this is the introduction, welcome. hey this isn't too bad! it'd neater than i thought it would be, and it's amazing how groovey pages look with animation!

This added - 01/FEB/99 - Do you know that I totally hate Barclay's bank - do they think that just by giving us a free phone worth £100 that we'll not mind about the completely crap service they give?  Like, and they have these paying in envelope things and stuff, and these slips that you're meant to fill in, and then when you take it to the machine, you don't know where to put it - so like do they expect us to automatically know how to use these things, when they don't tell us how?  Also, another time I went to pay in something, and the lady said that I was meant to have a paying in book, and they didn't send me one (coz' I reckon I'm not meant to have one), and she complained that I wasn't using a in paying in book!!  And said, we're not meant to do this for you, and stuff.  Aargh! The next time I went and talked to them, they complained that I hadn't been paying in my grant cheques, well doh!  What do expect when the machine that I'm meant to put it in won't tell me how and some stupid person will shout at me for not having a paying in book!!!???!!!   AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!  No wonder I put the cheque in Halifax!!!  They are way nicer!!!  And the paying in machine is simple to use, and they love you to just walk up with a load of dosh, give them your card and they'll just swipe your card, type in the amount and say "Would you like a reciept with that?" and you go "No thanks" and you leave, and you're sorted, right!  So get stuffed Barclays.  I mean, Barclays bank is enough of a reason to commit suicide, if I was suicidal, which I almost am, after being to Barclay's and which I would be if it weren't for that verse in the Bible saying that "My Body is a temple of God, whosoever destroys that body, will be condemned to the fires of Hell" or something like that.  So like I've got this cheque and I need to pay it in somewhere and Barclays will complain if I don't pay it in there but I'd rather avoid scarey Barclays and the horrible people who work there!  (They didn't let me have an overdraft for a while, because I hadn't payed in my first Grant cheque, and I'm assuming that they have now activated the overdraft, although I haven't asked.)

You might want to turn the brightness of your monitor up to read this more clearly.  Hmmmm.... went to SupaSnaps today, and do you know that you can either pay £3.99 for your pictures and get them tomorrow or you can pay £7.99 (twice as much) and get a film with that.  And like, erm, der, if I want a film I'll buy one myself thanks, and then I could get one for £3 at most or something, so like, some shops are just so full of bull, man.  Like, do you go to Tesco and take your 50p worth of apple's to the till and they say "If you give us an extra 50p we'll give you some tomatoes too, how about that?" - No, I don't think so!!  AAAAARRRRGRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry I'm just a little stressed at the moment, can you tell?  Hmmm, I so can't be bothered up-dating my web site and actually going to university and messing around with some stupid computer to upload this crap.  Tense?  Just a little.  Want to throw your computer out of the window?  Yes?  Then why not come to Huddersfield University, where our computers are specially designed, just for that purpose.  Nah, only kidding, but they should haveplaces where you can pay to throw a computer out of the window, or just smash it on the floor, or smash one with a massive metal baseball bat, or just a massive metal pole (similar in size to the baseball bat). What they could do is you could use it for a while, till you got stressed with it, and the screen you see isn't actually coming from the machine it's on, coz' the machine it's on is a broken one.  (in other words, this organisation would use already broken machines)  And anyway, the program you were using would be set up for going wrong and stressing you out, because they'd just buy something of the shelf like Microsoft Office, or Publisher, or something like that, and put it on the computer unchanged.  Then all they need to do is tell you to do something that these programs are capable of, but you can only do, if you click various buttons in a certain unknown sequence (such are these programs) - and since you don't know what sequence that is, you can't do it, even though it is technically possible with the program!  And then you get really really stressed and completely annihilate the computer with said baseball bat / pole / kicking / throwing type thing.  Okay if such a company exist then please email me, I would pay good money for this service.  Or if it doesn't then make sure you pay me for the idea when you set up the business.  Well, maybe I wouldn't pay good money for this, coz' I don't have any, coz' I can't go near my bank (Barclays), for fear of them trying to kill any customer that sets foot in Barclays.

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this page was made on the 29th jan 99 with one hand


This page created with Netscape Navigator Gold
(And Netscape 4.5 Composer)

moo